The Reason Within the Unreasonable.. (Part 1)

November 12, 2007

“They say life isn’t as it always seems… If that’s so, then let’s just hope you can reiterate your decision on why you decided to pursue a medical career, because if life isn’t as it always seems, if life can’t always secure your well being, if life can’t always remain the same, then who’s to say life will have your back when you decide to pursue your dreams…”- J.R.

 

When I was a young lad I remember wanting to desperately take a dip in the lake behind my house with a few friends… I dreamed of it day and night. But whenever I realized that I couldn’t go swimming, my eyes would become watery and my hands became fists as I readily pounded on my pillow; somehow I believed that if I were to hit my pillow fast enough, and desperately enough, this action alone could magically make me appear at the foot of the lake. Your probably wondering why I couldn’t just walk to the lake if it was right behind my house, and I’ll tell you it’s because there was an immense fence that was keeping me on one side, making me feel like a prisoner looking out towards freedom. As a kid you’ll do anything, you’ll even put yourself in harms way without even coming close realizing the dangers behind your actions. And that’s due to the fact that you feel like your all time favorite comic book super hero… yup you guessed it… Superman. My friends would come to my house on their way to the lake and out of courtesy, they would plea for me to sneak out and go to the lake with them; even though they knew that it just wasn’t possible… Why? You may ask… Why wasn’t it possible for me to climb that fence? That’s the question that will unravel the pivotal moment of my life.

As an even younger child (before age of 5) my Achilles tendon experienced what my doctors called “growth reduction” as if I had an unexplainable obstruction that halted the growth of my “oh so needed tendon”, of course in that day and time you couldn’t expect an accurate prognosis or diagnosis of anything that was serious enough to have you bed ridden, except for the possible pneumonia, rheumatic fever, and TB (Tuberculosis), mainly because it was the beginning of the 1950’s and just about six years after world war 2 ended (thank God); they believed that it would be (as it was) extremely difficult to walk for long periods of time, climb, walk up steps, participate in heavy physical activities, and run. I was “diagnosed” on September 18th 1951 at the age of 8, and I’ll never forget that day as it completely changed my pitiful life. My “disability” acted as an unbreakable barricade every time I would desperately envision myself trying to climb that fence.

Everytime I closed my eyes I could see, and smell the lake, but couldn’t even manage to dip my toes in it. I could see my friends playing in the water enjoying them selves without a care in the world, but me.. huh.. I had legs to worry about… While they could run, climb, and sprint… I could barely walk… Actually it was more like a sympathetic limp.

After a very lonely period of time, the fence became my enemy, and my sickness became its personal aid. They both made sure that I was stuck in misery without a way out… But soon enough there came a time that I became determined, there came a time when I knew that no matter what I could climb the fence, there came a time when my eyes didn’t become watery anymore, instead they were lit with a desire and determination that made my heart pound as if it was going to jump out of my chest… There came a time when all I could see was me climbing that fence, there came a time when I had decided that I wouldn’t let my sickness kill my goals and murder my aspiration’s, there came a time when I knew what I was capable of, even if my family and doctors all doubted me, and said that my so called objectives weren’t achievable…

*Continued*….. Part 2

 

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