Back After a Death Consuming Year

August 24, 2007


Well like the title states im back after almost a year gone from blogging and SDN, due to the fact that I was reevaluating my life, future and goals. I had and basically still have my doubts on becoming a doctor. Last year I was very naive and close minded in reference to the medical field. I felt as if no matter what happened I wanted to be a doctor. Even if it costs me everything. I still want to be a doctor however I guess you could say im smarter about it. The reality is that I don’t exactly know what the future has in stored for me and if I still will want to be a doctor within the next couple years as I ready myself for the MCATs application cycles and more. Im basically supposed to be a senior in college however due to my lack of commitment and urges to give into the party life I am only a Junior. I recently for about a year (yes the year I was out) started taking Mechanical Engineering courses, come to find out later on I still have passion for medicine and I dislike Engineering. I took a bunch of classes and now most of these classes wont even transfer over to my college, yes im bummed out!! I know that if I still want to be a doc by the end of Junior year then im golden. I know that Organic Chem, Calculus and all other similarly intricate classes usually weed out the weak and leave the apparent strong out of the pre-professional students, I want to be the part of the strong that are left. I am simply tired of working for something and ending up with nothing. It is harder when you have no support from family and most of your friends, I mean isn’t pretty bad when your afraid to tell your parents that you still wish to pursue medicine? I know im definitely not the smartest person out there however I believe that I could make it, I believe that if I apply myself I can achieve the once unachievable by disappointments like me. I feel like im wasting my time this semester, and in all trueness I am. I wasn’t able to go to school this period, mainly due to money being a detrimental factor. I am definitely tired of procrastinating and not being able to achieve the goals I wish to. Life is full of surprises and not being ready is not so bad at all, I mean think about it how are you going to learn new things if they don’t catch you by surprise. Well as you can see I have many theories in my head and because of this many people tend to think that im either out of my mind or I don’t ever know what Im talking about. I see it as I think in a sort of complicated unusual way (Its not my fault) and I think things in one way very detailed while the next person thinks of the basics and forgets that there’s more than meets the eye. Because of this detailed “complex” thinking I get badgered and secluded out of the “norm”….. What is the “norm” to think like an idiot..?? I am completely and totally tired of other people trying to belittle me because they think I am inferior. I mean the other day someone actually asked me and I quote “Ok, seriously all jokes aside, are you kind of slow or do you have HDD..” WTF!!!! People tend to judge my intellectuality based on the fact that I am very playful and sometimes out the blue I might say one or two irrelevant things just to make things crazier. I mean I have people who I know scored crappy in every high school/college test and can’t do anything for themselves try to make me seem inferior to their self wasted excuse for a brain….lol I just need to keep a low profile and chill. Life goes on but sometimes we are the ones who indulge ourselves in the past which may cause us to fall behind…… You’re all welcome to leave comments or any suggestions.

P.S. Im back so once in a while just drop by and check my page out, I promise I will be posting some pretty neat and helpful stuff from now on.



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